Loss of my innocence
If I wasn't so jaded and cynical from the past few years spent glued to the internet, I'd spare a thought for my lost innocence. Back at university forays into the web were irregular at best, and once there I had little idea of where to visit other than Amazon, the Beeb and free essay websites to plagiarise. Even at work I only ever skimmed the surface: type “cool websites” into Google and B3TA doesn’t pop up – that was a website someone had to tell you about. One new boss later and I was introduced to B3TA, Popbitch and various other sites on which I could while away the working day. Bored in my job, I became addicted to lurking on Popbitch, and dreamed that one day I too could be a shallow media whore with a perpetual sneer.
And, thus, I learned about Goatse, about nullos, about fat people in fairy costumes, and the cynicism grew and the propensity for being shocked lessened, and my innocence was lost. Mention a celebrity and I’d give you the bitchy gossip about them. Friends sending me forwards with the subject: “FW: fw: fw: RE: look at this!!!!!! It’s really COOL” were greeted with my new-found sneer and the messages binned instantly. New websites from friends who didn’t check the B3TA link board every five minutes were dismissed as “corn” (“I saw that 3 days ago, jesus”).
I was an internet snob.
When the realisation struck me I turned my sneer on myself and backed away slowly from the internet. I stopped reading the mailouts, didn’t laugh at the Chav website (one last sneer: haven’t I seen all this before?), stopped following the popbitchers to Liphook, to Holy Moly, to Bob pitch, to whatever new board they moved to in an effort to escape their lurking media wannabe groupies. And slowly – hopefully – the cynicism starts to peel away; some innocence returns (I could have lived my life quite happily without ever seeing Rotten.com). But I can’t shake that jaded feeling – can’t laugh at Taliban Reunited piss poor gags, can’t stand the bitter and lame attempts at humour on the chav site: I’ve seen it all before.
And, thus, I learned about Goatse, about nullos, about fat people in fairy costumes, and the cynicism grew and the propensity for being shocked lessened, and my innocence was lost. Mention a celebrity and I’d give you the bitchy gossip about them. Friends sending me forwards with the subject: “FW: fw: fw: RE: look at this!!!!!! It’s really COOL” were greeted with my new-found sneer and the messages binned instantly. New websites from friends who didn’t check the B3TA link board every five minutes were dismissed as “corn” (“I saw that 3 days ago, jesus”).
I was an internet snob.
When the realisation struck me I turned my sneer on myself and backed away slowly from the internet. I stopped reading the mailouts, didn’t laugh at the Chav website (one last sneer: haven’t I seen all this before?), stopped following the popbitchers to Liphook, to Holy Moly, to Bob pitch, to whatever new board they moved to in an effort to escape their lurking media wannabe groupies. And slowly – hopefully – the cynicism starts to peel away; some innocence returns (I could have lived my life quite happily without ever seeing Rotten.com). But I can’t shake that jaded feeling – can’t laugh at Taliban Reunited piss poor gags, can’t stand the bitter and lame attempts at humour on the chav site: I’ve seen it all before.
posted by Shinykatie at 8:26 am
1 Comments:
I know what you mean buddy.
But take solace in the fact that even before you sold your soul to the search engine, 90% of `Forwards` were still a load of shit.
Benzaemon
P.S. Now forward this comment to ten special people. Within six days they will recieve riches. A boy in Nantucket did this and his disabled cat grew new legs.
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